21.

 Dear Sixteen-Year-Old Me:

Before I attack you for your lack of eloquence, your brutally blunt disposition and your adamant stubbornness, I'd like to let you know that you haven't completely grown out of them yet. Also before I go on, I must regretfully inform you that you will become a college dropout. You'll never finish (or even go to) medical school. You're probably extremely disappointed in yourself for not finishing school but would it help if I told you that you would use your college experiences to mold you into an independent small business owner? At least you're not a COMPLETE bum. You quit with a plan and you avoided hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt! I gotta thank you also for choosing to travel with dad in Europe instead of having a sweet sixteen party. Honestly, nothing good ever happens in high school, at all. Stay away from any parties. It'll make your life so much better. Also, stop dying your hair crazy colors. It's killing it.

As for the big things in your life now: You think you're in love? You haven't felt anything yet. This guy will be nothing to you someday. When you turn eighteen, you're going to meet a man who will change your life. He'll ruin all other men for you but it's okay because he's the one. He'll be a godly man and his deep thinking and compassion will challenge you and mature you in a way you've never experienced before.

You're going to go through a period of darkness. These next five years will be tumultuous to say the least. Keep your head on straight and don't go looking for trouble. It'll have no problem finding you, and when it does, run full-speed in the opposite direction. You'll avoid a lot of heartbreak that way. (A lot.)

Stop wasting so much time worrying about what other people think of you. You'll eventually figure out how hard it is to trust somebody and if you're constantly seeking approval, those two factors create a dangerous situation. Direct your eyes upward before anything else and never settle for even your best, because there will always be something better that you can do. No matter how old you are, never stop growing. You'll learn the hard way that whatever you project on yourself is what you'll see the in the rest of the world. If you're projecting negativity, you'll see no hope in the world and will become inexplicably sad. Avoid this pattern of thinking at all costs. Cherish your innocence, don't let anybody tell you that you're naive for having high standards. I can't stress this enough.

Save up your money to travel. After coming home from France, you'll have an unquenchable sense of wanderlust. You'll travel to China eventually and you won't leave the same. In fact, you'll want to go back and just might. You'll find that this is where you'll find yourself-- in an unfamiliar city where nobody is speaking your language. Speaking of which, your French, Russian, Spanish and Greek? Don't stop studying them, they'll be of great use to you someday!

You'll make a lot of terrible decisions in these next five years. You'll scream and cry into your pillow for what seems like every night. You'll be frustrated and fed up and want to crawl into a hole and die. Don't let this scare you. It will refine you like gold through the fire. It won't be the end. You'll also make a lot of good decisions, a lot of moves, and you'll be on your way to living your dream. They'll make you feel stupid for this. Don't let them. Keep strong and never give up.

xo, e.m.