Window Shopping: White Girl Wasted on Autumn

I do a pretty good job of not being a WhiteGirl™ most of the year but come October, all bets are off. If you were to casually bump into me in Trader Joe's, I wouldn't stand out much from the rest of the North-Face-shell-and-Patagonia-fleece-clad army of girls with yoga pant booties being flattened by the unflattering shape of Ugg boots. Starbucks latte in hand, I would swipe my white iPhone unlocked and tweet about someone bumping into me in the #Pumpkin products aisle. I would scoff "as if!" and take a swig of my much-too-sweet latte before rolling away with my my cart full of almond milk and avocados. Something about the crisp autumn air, the crunchy leaves, and the impending holiday season brings out the inner white girl in all of us. Side note, who agrees that the Salted Caramel Mocha is a million times better than the Pumpkin Spice? It tastes like a chocolate-covered pretzel and it can be made vegan, unlike the pumpkin one so... obvious winner. Follow-up question, can anybody actually finish one of those deadly concoctions? I get halfway through a "tall" and my stomach begins to feel as if it will implode upon itself. Anyone? No? Alright then.

Thing is, white girls all know that they (we?) dress exactly the same. If you ask anyone why, her answer will undoubtedly be a whiny variant of something along the lines of "but it's comfyyyyy!" Actually, we had a white girl summit and discussed what our uniform would be and this is what we decided on because it's flattering and easily attainable. Not really. I have no idea why we dress this way. We just do. I hold to the universal truth that yoga pants and a fleece are okay for bopping around the grocery store but we should all put more thought and care into what we wear pretty much anywhere else. Break the mold, why don't ya? Trade your leggings for black jeggings, your fleece for a nice sweater layered over a long chambray button-down, your UGGly boots for some leg-lengthening pointed flats, and add a few gold details. Still warm and comfy but in a much sleeker, sexier package. If you REALLY wanna do it right, trade that pumpkin spice coffee for a good ale. (If you must have pumpkin, Southern Tier PUMKING is pretty great.) 



  1. I am all about the salted caramel as PSL is TOO MUCH THINGS in my mouth. but otherwise: yes.