"So that the monotonous fall of the waves on the beach, which for the most part beat a measured and soothing tattoo to her thoughts seemed consolingly to repeat over and over again..." Virginia Woolf
xo,
e.m.
Black Bean Brownies
Sometimes I feel like I'm not a blogger because I'm not a "homemaker." I can boil water and make quinoa, I can roast Brussels Sprouts without burning down the house and I can toss things together in a big 'ole pan on the stove and convince you that I know what I'm doing but I cannot bake to save my life. I'm not good at things that require so much patience and calculation. I can't follow directions. I'm too much of a renegade. A few years ago for my birthday, I bought cupcake mix, icing, and cake decorations. I left them on the counter and hoped that someone would take the hint. Someone (grudgingly) did and I had delicious pink cupcakes with pink icing and Swedish Fish on top. That's about the extent of my baking expertise-- passive-aggressively leaving the ingredients in the kitchen and hoping that someone will do something about it. These brownies, however, are simple enough for me to make. Danielle turned me on to them and I've been a huge fan ever since. They're (halfway?) homemade, gooey, and decadent. The best part? They're only THREE ingredients. Right? Three.
What you'll need:
- Brownie mix (just make sure that the mix itself doesn't have eggs/dairy/etc. in it. My favorite is Trader Joe's Truffle Brownie Mix.)
- One 15oz can of black beans (do not drain)
- One cup of non-dairy dark chocolate chips
You're also going to need a blender or food processor, a bowl, a spatula, a greased pan, and an oven. If you don't have an oven, you probably shouldn't even try to make these because it probably won't work.
Preheat the oven to whichever temperature your particular box of brownie mix suggests. While it's preheating, empty the brownie mix into a bowl. Set it aside and empty the entire can of black beans into the blender. Thoroughly liquefy it so that no beans remain. Pour the black beans into the bowl with the dry brownie mix and stir it a bit with the spatula. Add in one cup of chocolate chips and keep stirring until there are no more patches of brownie mix powder and the mixture is as smooth as it can be with all of those chocolate chips. Pour into a greased pan and stick it in the oven. I would suggest baking the brownies for 5-7 minutes shorter than the time on the box suggests. Stick a toothpick into the middle. If it comes out clean, they're done! Leave them on the counter to cool off a little bit so you won't be biting into molten hot chocolate lava. If it comes out with some wet mixture on it, leave it in for another 3-5 minutes and check again.
If you like your desserts a little fancier, these are like a blank canvas of chocolatey goodness. Danielle sprinkled some cinnamon on these ones and I want to try adding some pumpkin somehow. The best part about these brownies is bringing them into work and then not telling anyone that they have black beans in them until after they eat them. (Snickers to self.) You'll also feel more welcome to have another because, well, black beans = protein.
Happy October, y'all!
xo,
e.m.
A Moment of Honesty: Life is Funny
"To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it." - Charlie Chaplin
Few journeys are as frightening as the one I face on my way to the studio. In those harrowing five blocks, I navigate uneven cobblestone in stiletto heels, strategically furrow my bold brow to ward off concupiscent construction workers, and avoid eye contact with eager college students armed with clipboards and the latest guilt-inducing half-facts for the "trendy grassroots cause of the week," as I like to call it. Even after I swipe my card and struggle to open those heavy glass doors, my day is full of treading lightly as I carry my cup of coffee up the stairs as not to spill it on myself, subtly checking my lipstick in the iPhone's front-facing camera to make sure that none of it somehow ended up on my teeth (how does that even happen?) or too much didn't smudge off so it's all lip liner, (like in my last outfit post... oops.) and other various ways of not making a general fool of myself. Pause and think about that for a moment. Life is hard. Now, this is not the time to get self-righteous and lambast me in the comments with things like "*eyeroll* E.M., I didn't come here to read about your FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS." Hear me out. How much of our time do we spend on self-preservation? How much of that could be spent doing actual, you know, productive things? Quite a bit. What kind of vitriol do we think is in store for us if we fall down the office stairs while carrying a stack of paper? Will we lose our jobs? Unlikely. Will others lose respect for us? Even more unlikely. Why? We're all human. We're all flawed. We do some REALLY stupid things and if we can't just laugh at ourselves then what are we even doing, dammit?
I wish self-help books were a little less "be the best that you can be, NOW, OR ELSE!" and more "just learn to laugh at yourself, homegirl." Laughter is the most powerful anti-anxiety medicine for me. It's important to recognize and be mindful of the difference between tasteful bits of self-depricating humor and downright self-disrespect but when you find where your boundaries are, the little things tend to add up and slowly drive us to depression are deemed utterly powerless. Go back and read that. When inevitably embarrass yourself, you can take the sword out of your own hand by cracking a smile instead of wanting to hide away forever. You gain that much more control over your life and the things that bother you. This is incredibly important. It's like being kind to bullies to let them know that they don't bother you but in this case, the weaker part of you is the bully and you have to prove to yourself that your stronger part is in control. If you can take control of these little moments, you're well on your way to owning even your largest flaws. To quote Tyrion Lanniester, "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." That's some serious self-confidence right there. It's not easy to go right from zero to Tyrion Lannister but not taking yourself so seriously all the time is sure a fantastic start.
xo,
e.m.
The New Black
Flannel and crew neck weather. It's here. It's grand. I'm happy.
xo,
e.m.
jeans/ H&M, flannel/H&M, sweatshirt/ H&M (I'm on a bit of an H&M kick, can you tell?), watch/ Michael Kors, hat/ ASOS, clutch/ Michael Kors, shoes/ Christian Louboutin, coffee/ Menagerie
**photos by Danielle Conyers
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